Charles Socci Dot Com

I try to stay out of it as much as I can. I’m not even sure I believe in the system any more. It is like a circus to me.Neither Obama nor Hillary really speak to me deeply.

McCain just scares the crap out of me as an out of touch, Roe vs. Wade overturning, Patriarchal “Christian” - the last thing our country needs.

Barack Hussein Obama - who’d of thought the American public would even consider a candidate with such a name? Perhaps that is a sign of the public’s collective intelligence - being able to distinguish a name from a person. Of course being Arab or having an Arabic name does not make one bad by association. But try to imagine the collective support of a president named Mitsubishi after WW II. Or perhaps it is just evidence of the manipulation the political machine is putting over on us regular folks.

The man really hasn’t said anything very concrete I can say I feel good about one way or another. My joke is that everything he says sounds like, “Ice cream and cake for everyone!” to me.

His voting record in the Senate is one of abstaining - he just seems like the kind of guy who won’t take a stand, lets his minions do the dirty work, and runs away when the smoke gets too thick.

As for being a “Black or African-American” candidate - his mother is white and his father is from Kenya. He is not a descendent of slaves; his relatives weren‘t exploited bringing America into the industrial age. His neighborhood wasn‘t ravaged by crack. I doubt he was ever hassled by the police or screwed over by the criminal justice system because of his color. He’s lived a life of privilege, more “white” in nature than most whites. He has a Columbia and Harvard education. More importantly HE DID NOT GROW UP IN A TYPICAL AFRICAN-AMERICAN HOUSEHOLD OR CULTURE. He is not Black, nor is he an African-American in the sense of our great African-American politicians and statesmen: Fredrick Douglas, Martin Luther King, Jesse Jackson and yes even big mouthed Al Sharpton (whom I curiously really like quite a bit). At least these guys really knew what being Black in America was. They grew up or at least spent significant time either growing up in, or working in the urban centers of Black population. 

So why are people so in love with him? I don’t understand. Isn’t the true meaning of racism making decisions based on skin color?  If you presented this guy on paper, folks might say ho hum… typical politician, rich guy, Ivy League educated, Harvard Law. Mention the fact that his skin is dark and suddenly he’s the great new hope for America, despite a white American mother, and a father from Kenya - and early childhood education in Indonesia.

I’d love to see a real Black president. The country could use that perspective in office - big time. But Obama - he is NOT the guy.

The fact that both Kenya and Indonesia are the sites of major overseas terrorist activity (attributed to fundamental Islamic Al Qaeda) also concerns me but seems to bear little mention).

I’m left with Hillary. But I like her. Something about the Clintons has always appealed to me. I thought the whole thing over Bill’s hanky-panky was a joke, and our response as a nation made us a laughing stock. Consider other presidents who funded secret wars, manipulated foreign governments, provided arms to Iran, lied to the American public to go to war. Is a little hanky-panky in the Whitehouse so bad? It wasn‘t nice. It was embarrassing. But, please. Put it in perspective. If anything it made the man seem more human to me. Humans make mistakes. Humans deny things to avoid embarrassment to themselves, their nation and their family. Sociopaths go to war and lie about it completely; or make up false intelligence and false pretenses. Why does it seem few can see that distinction?

But we aren‘t talking about Bill. We are talking about Hillary - who spent all that time in Whitehouse with Bill. Not the President, but close I’d say. She represents a shift from the patriarchal nature of our government. She doesn‘t drag religion into it. She is a brilliant woman. She has good ideas. She does not deeply move me - but in terms of the candidates out there, I feel a whole lot better about her than I feel about anybody else. I think the nation could do a whole lot worse.So here is my little poll thing from NewsVine.com Here’s to the best woman for the job.

When can you say this —
that someone is a true friend?
—a day, or a year?

It doesn’t matter
One day or a whole lifetime
When the vibe is right

I hadn’t seen you -
seemed forever and a day.
Then I heard you were gone.

Just another day
in paradise you told me
A place you could be

Free from the sheriff
And those who might seek to harm
Boy against nature

From the day we met
No judgments made between us
You came as you were

Here in this moment
mistakes past, future unknown
See me as I am

You asked nothing that
I accept you as you are
we are both good souls

Dear friends like you
Who just see me as I am
Are precious and rare

– For my friend Ron “Ronda Riviera” Wright

As in a city,
lost, walking round in circles -
pacing the same streets.

My true place to be
lay on the next block over.
But I never knew.

I chose to wander
too proud to ask directions
most could have given.

Living in the now
is useless, if not mindful
of the guide inside. (who knows when to ask)

In my early years,
my course was never steady -
to and fro like wind.

Sudden adulthood -
Youth wasted, indecision -
The game now for keeps.

Mistakes everywhere,
bankruptcy ensued, all kinds.
I slashed and I burned.

Illness, poor choices.
The fruit? A cataclysm.
Near death, I lay grim.

Like some mythic man,
I refused to die prostrate.
My mission was clear.

It seems that wisdom
is a sliver of pale light -
Waxing and waning

Be still, be mindful.
The light becomes a beacon -
forget; it grows dim

Age, pain, survival,
can teach important lessons -
If one can let go.

Let go of yourself.
Live for the rest of the world
Find the empathy.

 Park Avenue South, Charles Socci 2003

Woodrow Wilson, William Faulkner, Harry Truman, Malcom X, George W. Bush, Robert Frost, Ronald Reagan, Barbara Jordan, Christian Fundamentalism, Family Values, 911, The War on Terror, Hiroshima, and the Cold War. Packed into two and half cheerful minutes.

Listen Here (mp3) 5MB

We’ve had our share of trials lately. The latest one, just today, my wife lost her job.

It seems the company lost a big fat client, or what they thought was a big fat client, and slashed twelve percent of the their staff.

This is in addition to her being in a bus accident recently (while traveling between clients).

In addition to all of this, our family was recently struck with a tragedy I can not fully mention. Suffice to say, it was a big one.

In the midst of all of this I’ve found myself bitter and angry. Life must go on, and we are going on. We put on our happy faces and try to dull the razor’s edge of our anger for the day. Mostly we’ve been successful but for a few unfortunate instances before we got control—if you can call it control.

It comes out of us in other ways. I can’t sleep for shit without drugs. I have chronic aches and pains. Kristin has been hanging on pretty well and her job has been a real island of sanity and purpose. Now that’s gone and she’ll have to find another.

I had a teacher in kindergarten of all places who said to me something I never forgot,

“Life isn’t fair.”

Boy, she had that one right.

We keep on moving—looking forward to brighter days.

wisdom’s born of pain
some people find it’s comfort
not the self engaged

a fool will speak out
when no question has been posed
integrity lost

sage, humble and wise
will wait until the last word
perhaps not speaking

Who shall I become?
old dog watching things pass by
knowing more than me.

Have you ever volunteered yourself for something?

I had the opportunity when the topic of photographing the staff for our company intranet  came up. I volunteered to shoot portraits of as many as 300 people at our New York office.

I spent three days last week hopping between my desk and a small portrait studio I created out of three feet of wall space, a high stool, and a stand mounted strobe with a large diffuser umbrella on it.

People came in and I took their picture.

I’m in charge of things like network infrastructure, and servers, and so on… so I don’t interact much with people at the company. In fact, I’m not a big people person in the sense of small talk, or making aquaintances. I shy away from parties.

I do love photography, so this opportunity seemed like a great chance to exercise some photography skills and some people skills - and also get outside my self in a new way.

Each person was unique. Some were easy - photogenic, attractive, poised. Others were very nervous or self conscious. Some weren’t sure they want their photograph taken at all.

I was able to make that small talk. I made people relax. I was able make almost every single person lose that rigidity in front of the camera; and the result really showed it. Most people seemed very surprised when I showed them the digital preview on my camera. They’d never seen a flattering photo of themselves! I’m really proud of the results.

I don’t really feel it would be ethical to post them - but perhaps after the dust settles I’ll ask a few people if they wouldn’t mind me posting their portraits online.

It was an exhausting, but wonderful experience.

I’ve been thinking a lot about numbers lately…

(distances and speeds change depending on various condidtions. These are averages.)

Speed of Light = 186,282 miles a second

Speed of Sound = about .2 miles per second

Distance to the Sun = 93 million miles

One way trip for a bit of sunlight to the planet Earth = 8 minutes, 20 seconds

Sound can’t travel in space, but if it could it would take 13.8 YEARS to go that distance in an Earth-like environment

Distance to the moon = 239,000 miles

One way trip for a bit of moonlight to twinkle in your eye = a little bit over 1 and 1/4 seconds.

If sound could travel from the moon it would take about 13 DAYS to travel the same distance in a Earth-like environment.

Time it takes two computers on the Internet to say ‘hello’ - (tcp/ip, speed of light minus latencies caused by physical hardware):

New York to London - about .08 seconds

New York to California - about .08 seconds

New York to Hong Kong - about .240seconds

Speed of nerve impulses in your body:

The speed of nerve impulses is highly variable - between 2 feet to 400 feet per second. Note that electrical signals on a piece of wire travel at near light speed, or 982 MILLION feet per second.

Good grief Charlie Brown… the holidays are finally over. Thank God. Here we are at the top of another year.

This last one was not so bad. Kristin and I closed on our new pad, moving into a spacious two bedroom from our ultra cramped studio. I still find myself sometimes pacing from one end to the other, still in disbelief that we have this much room now.

We finally got to take our family vacation in August—out to Wisconsin to see Kristin’s parents and spend time with family. It was a great time. Critical issues and scheduling threatened; but it all worked out—and in the words of somebody, somewhere, a long time ago; a great time was had by all.

Work changed radically for both of us. Kristin left an increasingly miserable job behind for a new job she is really happy with, working with other happy people, learning new things and getting a chance to spread her wings a bit more.

Things where I work changed radically this past year. It began with the departure of our old CTO, and the entrance of a new CTO. Soon afterward a steam pipe exploded in the street outside our building. Then, we lost cooling in our data room necessitating the shut down of all our servers. There was no access to the  building for nearly two weeks, as many shattered windows spew glass, mud, and unknown substances into the exterior offices. With a new CTO and my boss on vacation, I really had a lot on my plate putting contingency options and plans in place, utilizing off-site tape and the services of a data center in New Jersey. My boss was on vacation at the time; but tensions between him and the new CTO had been mounting prior to all of this. To make a long story short, I have a new boss and a new CTO. I’m very happy at my job. I truly like everyone I work with. I enjoy what I do. This, is a true blessing.

My son entered high school (the same one I graduated from), and my daughter entered junior high. It was a year of change to be sure. Norma is consistently on the high honor role, and Alex has gained a great deal of confidence in himself and has established a sound start down the winding road and over jagged peaks of adolescence. I’m so wonderfully proud of both my children.

Personally, winter is a rough time of year for me. Having fought the great demons of depression and mood volatility since my own adolescence, winter and the holidays always bring a special challenge. I’ve learned to ignore them by and large—but this to the dismay of those near and dear who enjoy being, ‘in the spirit’. I’m not sure exactly what it is—the dark days, the cold, the expectations… but it can be a challenging time to keep my head above water. I’m older. I’m more mature. I’ve learned the meaning of the phrase, ‘get over yourself’. But, there are those times when black turns white, up turns down, and everything is inside out. This darkness begets more darkness and it tumbles; accelerating out of control. Fortunately I’ve been spared the full onslaught so far and I’m holding on. Life is good—and everything is going to be all right.

like take a personality test to determine my Simpson’s analogue…

I’m Lisa, who are you? by NoHomers.net